Baby Bliss to Baby Blues
I had the textbook perfect pregnancy. I never had morning sickness, gained weight on track, baby’s heartbeat was perfect every time, every test came back perfect. My water broke first, so I barely had to deal with contractions. For 9 months, everything was so easy. I assumed that the transition from being pregnant to being a mom would also be perfect and easy.
I was wrong. So wrong.
I was a hot mess. I really struggled. So much. There were days I would just cry because I was scared I wasn’t doing enough for him. There were days I begged Brandon to stay home from work because I was worried I wasn’t a good enough mom. There were days I would cry because someone gave me a suggestion and I took it personally. I had this perfect little blessing and I couldn’t even enjoy it because I was so sad.
All. The. Time.
I hit my lowest point when I was standing at the door one day, keys in hand, telling Brandon I was leaving because Noah deserved a better mom. I couldn’t get it out of my head that he deserved someone who knew what they were doing. I lost my confidence, and in turn, feared that Noah would hate me because I wasn’t perfect.
Spoiler alert – no mom is perfect.
Today, Noah is 8 months old and I can honestly say he has saved my life. I’ve always been anxious, but after having him, I had so many more scenarios to worry about. My anxiety and postpartum depression escalated to a level that scared me.
- I have learned to learn how to give myself grace.
- I have learned how to accept failure and take suggestions and how to reschedule plans.
- I have learned how to prioritize my well-being for Noah’s sake.
At first I thought taking an hour to workout was selfish, but I quickly found out how desperately I needed that hour to clear my mind and keep my anxiety and depression under control. I thought going to get a coffee or pedicure alone was a waste of time. I’ve learned that I need that quiet time alone to process.
But I don't have to be perfect. Noah doesn’t need a perfect mom. He needs me to be a present, happy mom.
Moms...I get it. I get the tears from being sad and happy all at the same time. I get holding this perfect little human being and feeling these sad emotions. I get holding a giggling baby and feeling distant. I get it. I can, however, give you this one piece of advice: You are the perfect mom for your baby.
We must empower each other and stop worrying about not being good enough. You are more than enough. Your baby (or babies!) love you! Take that hour to workout, go get some takeout and enjoy every bite of it! Go get your pedicure and take the scenic route to come home. Ask for help and be okay accepting help (I’m still working on this one!). Talk about your feelings without being scared or embarrassed.
And finally, remember – You. Are. Enough. ♥
Becoming Noah's mom was the best blessing I could have ever imagined. Being a former gymnast, college cheerleader, 1/2 marathon runner, and gym lover, I knew I had to get back to being active to combat the overwhelming, stressful postpartum anxiety. Easy fix, right?! Nope, I didn't want to leave Noah even more than I already had to as a special education teacher. I kept putting my needs to the back burner, like all of us moms tend to do!
Baby Boot Camp has been my family's saving grace. Brandon and I are able to be together, work out, create that bond with Noah, and teach him healthy habits, all while owning Baby Boot Camp - Summerville, SC! As Noah's mom, it is my job to teach him healthy habits. He gets to join me for workouts, see other baby friends and learn social skills, and see his mom put her health and wellness as a priority. I am an AFAA certified group instructor, certified in Pilates, education in nutrition, and obtaining a run coach certification. I am excited to use all of this knowledge along with my extensive background in health and wellness to provide Summerville families a great place to gather and to help foster healthy habits for a healthier community!